Follow The Sound Of My Voice

Five a.m. is not my best time of day.  I know this.  And yet, when Bob May of Bob's No Wake Zone Boating Radio Show out of Clinton, Missouri asked me to be a guest on his show, we agreed that a 5 o'clock taping was going to be the best fit for our different time zones.  We all need to be flexible, after all.

My mother, she of the perpetual morning perkiness, will tell you that I am like my father's side of the family: less than fully functional in the a.m.  Only my sister inherited the early morning gene; my brothers and I are late night people.  Indy also shows worrying signs of being an early riser, although she has modified her habits to a more reasonable seven a.m. over the ghastly six a.m. she used to prefer.  Stylish, on the other hand, can hardly be roused with less than a marching band before nine o'clock.  Civilized.

But five it was.  Bob was going to talk to me about cruising and life aboard, and I thought, "Well, that is kind of early, but this is going to be fun.  I'll be alert because I'll be excited.  Plus, I've talked about cruising a thousand times.  I can do that in my sleep!"

Well, for any of you that may find yourselves interview-proximate in future, let your Aunt Amy give you some kindly advice.  Although you may think you can do something in your sleep, you should not, in fact, do it in your sleep.  And what you explain to friends and neighbours in the comfort of your cockpit is not as easy to distill into a pithy anecdote for a one-shot deal like radio.  I have great admiration for people like Bob who can just get up talk and still sound interesting.  They make it sound so easy.  I am a writer; I am slow.  I like to ponder, and write, and ponder some more, and edit and edit and edit.  And even then I'm often not satisfied that I made my point clearly.  So I was a little concerned that I would be a terrible guest, but I pushed aside those pointless worries and looked forward to the day.

At quarter to five I got up, closed the bedroom doors, and left Erik and the girls quietly sleeping.  Bob and I got started.  Like a pro, he guided me through the treacherous waters of the interview, and I think I was doing alright until he asked about the boat layout.

Now.  This ought to be a "gimme", right?  Do I or do I not live aboard Papillon?  And do I or do I not know what is where on said vessel?  I do.  But for some reason, when it came to describing the deck, I fell apart.  My five a.m. brain was suddenly convinced that a center cockpit had to be in the precise center of the boat - which is ridiculous.  I stumbled and equivocated and finally realized I was floundering.  I ground to a halt and commented to Bob that Erik was going to give me heck for my answer.  Bob laughed and, like the gentleman he is, moved on.

It isn't as complicated as I made it sound.  Here we are looking forward...

...and looking aft.  Not even the most urban landlubber could get confused.

We made it to the end, and Bob graciously thanked me for being on the show.  I took off my headphones, poured myself another cup of tea, and shook my head.  Did I make cruising sound like the great life it is, or did I just sound like a crazy boat lady?  I feared it was CBL for the win.

The bedroom door creaked open, and Erik emerged.
"You sounded good," he said.
"You were listening?"
He nodded.  "Yep."  He paused.  "But what was that nonsense about the center cockpit?"


My segment on Bob's No Wake Zone Boating Radio Show aired on Saturday, March 30th, 2013.  You can listen to the archived show on Bob's website.  Click on the On Demand Dock Box, scroll down to the March 30th show, and look for Amy Schaefer and Sailing Papillon.  Thanks for listening!